You Don't Have to Be a Good Cook: What Two Kalamazoo Hosts Want First-Timers to Know

Picture a backyard fire in Kalamazoo. Around it sit visiting government officials from Kyrgyzstan, most of them mayors of large cities, learning to roast s'mores and burning plenty of marshmallows along the way. It happens to be their Independence Day, so as the evening goes on, they stand and sing their national anthem.

Jerry Potratz, who hosted that night, still calls it magical. 

And nights like that rarely start with a perfect menu or a spotless house. Instead, they typically start with someone who was a little nervous and said yes anyway. If that's you, two longtime hosts want to talk you through the worries that come up most.

Two hosts, two paths in

Jerry and his wife Louise have hosted international guests for about two decades. The two of them love learning about the world, and hosting lets them, as Jerry puts it, "travel through your guests."

John Tremblay learned hospitality early. He grew up a military kid and spent seven years in Japan, where his mother taught English to Japanese students at the family coffee table. He remembers how she prepared: setting out hot water and cookies, making the house smell of something good, and greeting each person intentionally. Years later, as a former Peace Corps volunteer and a father of two, he found himself doing the same thing for Global Ties guests.

First, the food

Here's the good news. When we asked Jerry to fill in the blank: "You don't have to be ______ to be a good dinner host." He didn't hesitate. "A good cook."

His advice is to "cook what you would kind of normally cook." If that worries you, "go someplace and pick something up."

John's approach is to ask. "I'm just not one to ever be afraid to ask questions," he says. He tells guests from the start, "I don't know what I don't know," and then asks what they'd like to eat. Some want food from home. Others, especially younger visitors, are thrilled by American treats they can't get anywhere else.

When a group of Muslim visitors came to his home, John asked a Syrian friend to cook shawarma and fattoush. His guests told him it was exactly what they wanted.

About your house

John will be the first to tell you: "You don't need to be of means. You can be modest and still be a good host."

He speaks from experience. Before one visit, his biggest worry was that his home wasn't nice enough. Then three Iraqi guests arrived and, on the very first day, cleaned and organized his refrigerator. He was a little embarrassed. "But at the same time, it was a point of humor for the rest of the weekend and bonding."

Jerry prepares "just like you would for any other guest": a quick sweep, wiped counters, a mowed lawn. Two visitors from Uzbekistan once couldn't stop marveling at how green his neighborhood was. "Simple stuff is memorable," he says.

When words run out

Most visitors speak English well, Jerry says. When they don't, "you get into a kind of a fun game of charades." The warmth matters more than the words: "if you present a warmth and a welcomeness … they will reciprocate in kind."

If guests slip into their own language after a long day, John suggests giving them "that grace."

You're not the entertainment

"You don't have to entertain," Jerry says. "You just share your life and your home with them."

Some of John's favorite moments were completely unplanned. One night around 1 a.m., he heard his guests going through the cupboards. They wanted cereal, and he was out of milk. So he grabbed his keys and they all drove to the store together, his guests loved seeing downtown Kalamazoo at night.

Both Jerry and John also advocate inviting a few friends to dinner, and "let the community do some of your hosting for you."

The distance and misnomers it eliminates

Jerry once hosted a guest from Kurdistan who nearly withdrew from his program when he learned he'd be staying in American homes. At the closing dinner, he stood and told everyone, "You know, I realize now that was all propaganda" he said, referring to what he had been told about Americans before coming to the United States. He planned to go home and tell his friends and colleagues about his experience.

For John, hosting is also a gift to his own children because it’s "a way for me to bring the world to them."

So, should you?

Both Jerry and John agree that everyone should take the opportunity to become a dinner host. And the tried and true approach according to Jerry?  "Just relax and have fun. Be yourself."

To learn about dinner hosting and upcoming visitor groups, check out the needs here.